Second carbon copy of "News of Dr. Wilsey's abdominal obstruction needing surgery" with additional notes
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310.232.1-15.2017 Transcription
[The first 13½ pages of this letter are a carbon copy of 310.230.1-15.2017, with few notes written throughout.]
Marseille Vicinity
10th7 Sept 45 Friday
My dearest One,
This will be one of the most
“momentious” letters I have ever written
you, dearest. It concerns (#1) the disheartening
failure to get even a “50:50-break” on
sailing out of this port after a month’s
“sweating-it-out” including being taken
off 3 different ships in the “last-minute;”
& (#2) the OUR[1] thoughts & plans over the months
to come about an abdominal operation
that I need for intestinal obstruction
from adhesions based (probably) on my
old ruptured appendix PLUS an incisional
hernia that has developed since enlistment.
↑ ↑ ↑ ↑ ↑ ↑
(YOU HAVE ALWAYS ASKED ME TO OMIT THE
PERSEFLAGE—THUS THE ABOVE CARRIES OUT
WHAT YOU ASK. THUS, ALL SUMMARIZED IN A ¶).
Much about this operation et al may
be sketchy & retrospective to you as I
have lived so long c̅[2] the minutiae I
neglect them because they are {common place [&] 2nd nature[3]
to me after a whole year.
One of the keynotes is that any time
in the past year I could have gotten
[2]
myself sen[t] home on exactly the
same basis & medical facts as Doris
Settle McNulty was forced home against
her will. [You are as of now appauled, or
disgu[s]ted, or furious c̅ me I suppose][4].
The reasons why not are these:—(#1) Based
“on-a-job-to-do,” Patriotism, acting “for
you” in this War (Elko, 1943), & Hippocritean
principles I did not quit the combat-
life because thousands of guys needed
help more than I did. Dearest, you
just cant see thousands of guys lying
on crowded hallway floors, & know
that they are going to die unless
operated [on] damn soon—AND know that
“the” one bottle-neck of all bottle-necks
to slow the medical-chain is Anesthesia.
Sooooo, you keep on, AND you dont tell
your Precious Wife about it either because
nothing can be done about it, when other
“musts” take precedence in ones “chain-
of-Philosophies.” (#2) I would be damned
if I’d run the gamut of overseas
army chain of evacuation where any
“hambone” could “just practice” tying
[3]
knots, for example, inside my belly
just for the “practice.” Dearest, this #2
point is my “screamingest” point in
my life—the no-good “hambones”
I have seen toy c̅ good American
boys just because the great-god-Army
put a little more “chicken-(shit)” on their
shoulders, rather than on the shoulders of
a competent, sincere, & trustworthy
doctor. Yes, I have known 7 to 10 doctors
whom I would have let operate on
me but I had no way of assuring
or procuring their services based on
this (son-of-a-bitchin’!) Army Medical
Service. Sooooo, you keep it to yourself
as you work on, & every minute you
pray—yes, pray and pray and pray
that God doesn’t let the ever present
partial intestinal obstruction become
a complete obstruction demanding emergency
surgery. About 6 to 8 times a month
my obstruction does go complete but
God taught (& helped) me how to work
it open by myself & thus He kept me
[4]
out of the clutches of those Chicken-(shit)
sonofabitchin’ bastards. (#3) Now, “&
“forever more,” nobody can ever say
I “bucked” (meaning to squeal out of something)
to get out of combat’s mud, filth, danger
disease, “indeciencies” [Foreward][5], & work-
till-your-ass-drags. Im no martyr,
Hell no!, but I at least have the
philosophical & moral satisfaction of not
having been a “bucker” ——AND——
[tho][6] thousands of guys have had it a damn
site worse than I, yet thousands
of guys had had it a damn site
easier than I, PLUS the thousands
who “bucked” c̅ far less reason
than I didn’t “buck” on.
Soooo, #1 + #2 + #3 gives only a
panoramic summary of my convictions
the past year. Through God’s help I
was able to have the “Courage Of My
Convictions”, though I 49%-damn-near
lost them c̅ that last heart breaker
of a transfer “costing” me my old
outfit c̅ it’s credits & potential advantages.
[5]
Now to tie this in c̅ the
137th Evac, the IIA, the Marseille port et al.
Dont ask me how I knew, but I
just knew the 137th would never see
combat action in CBI[7] so I saw my
first (earliest begining) chance to get
this belly of mine back to Dr Schmidt
at Wis. Gen’l Hosp before too many
months had passed. [At times when
I was in misery as I was working open
an episode of complete obstruction I would
pray:—“Please, please, please God let me
get this belly get back to Wis General.”
Oh Dearest One, for day after day, week after
week, & [now][8] month after month I felt so
sure He was granting my prayer—until
last night at 9PM][9]. Oh yes, I forget to
to describe the {common place 2nd nature[10] so that
you’ll understand better:—If I live
very guardly every minute I am awake
I can 99% prevent these episodes of
complete obstruction. (1% occur in my sleep
& so far, when the vomiting awakens me, I
can start my “Beat-It” routine). I never
move, sit, or lay in only very guarded
[6]
& specific ways or positions. For example,
I havent laid on my back (flat) for
months & right this minute Id give a
million dollar bill for the relief & privilege
of resting just once on my back. 100%
left sided lying gets damn tiresome.
I never eat certain things. I must
miss a meal if I were force[d] to eat it
fast [“Hooray,” sez Schmaltzie][11]. I never crouch
or squeeze my abdomen in any way.
I refuse all food that might even
remotely be spoiled or be contaminated
as enteritis gives me about 3 day
episode of “Hell.” Etc, etc, etc, for one
whole year’s worth of (boring) minutiae.
Oh, yes, I even carry my own private
(stolen) Miller-Abbott tube to to keep
my guys sucked flat until I could
get to an operating room table it if
an episode [SHOULD][12] ever “beat-me.”
Soooo all in all, my life is Life though
it isnt exactly pleasant-Life, waiting
for that “handgrenade to go off” in
my belly.
[7]
Thus—slowly, but madden[ing]ly,
I was winning-my-race to Wis.
General during the tedious 7 weeks
up at Rheims Assembly Area Commad.
Upon arriving here the atomic bomb (&
other facts) was getting me to Wisconsin
all the faster. Then the “Ax” to get lower
point men out began to “fall” here
at Cala[i]s Staging Area, which is just
minutes drive from the gangplank.
We were assigned to sail on the S.S. John
Erickson; it was post-poned by the Army;
& then the “Ax” fell again (yet I survived). We were
assigned to sail on the S.S. Breckenridge
(tomorrow morning); it was postponed just
24 wee hours; & then the “Ax” fell (& I
didnt “survive”). If you will retrospect,
all my letters the past 4 weeks were
just “bursting” to tell you these glorious,
hopeful (& relieving) things yet I refrained
because we once “each-got-a-ride” in
Bad Mergentheim days. However, dozens &
[8]
[dozens] of fellows took their Loved Ones for
“a-ride” by writing even positive letters
before the Erickson, before the Eltinge, & before
the Bre[cke]nridge post-ponements & “Ax” falling
episodes. The cry, the scream, the
justifiable question of thousands in
my same shoes here this minute is:—
“Why! does this sonofabitchin’ army
tan[ta]lize, “build-up,” & then smash
your innermost heart—not for
only once & one week—but for
3 times & four weeks!!?? The truthful
answer, dear, is that the inate,
proven, & eternal shameful mismanage-
ment & inad[e]quacy of the Army c̅ its
“Power Grabbing Dynasty Creating}[13] Inadequates” are to
blame—& will someday, before
someone (or Him) answer for all their
disgraceful inadequacies, bungelings,
& heart-breakings.
This is all very very panoramic
about the Cala[i]s “Sweat-It-Out” Era
of thousands of our lives. Details make
it all the more maddening & heartbreaking.
[9]
Ill cite just one example of “Blasted
Dreams” (this will sorta prevail someday, sometime,
anyway). Despite how I know just how
badly you wanted to meet me in,
lets say, Chicago I was going to have
to “insist” [from a NY phone booth][14] I meet you in Bismarck.
In the meantime you would have called
Billy Faber, & done lotsa other things. The
minute I got to 710-4th St you, Terry[15],
& I would leave [DRIVE][16] for Mayos BECAUSE YOU
DO NEED HELP (EVEN MY HELP) IN TAKING
TERRY, darlin———it would
mean so much to you to have me
help you & it would make Terry’s
“screening” better too. Whenever Mayo
“screening” was complete or fairly well
settled, you & I (& probably Terry) would
go for a few dreamed of moments to
Pewees Nest near Baraboo; then I’d turn
myself over to Dr Schmidt, the X-ray
Dept, AND IF NEEDS BE—even
sacrifice my entire 30 days post overseas
leave to get my belly fixed on a Wis.
Gen’l operating room table where
sincere, decent, capable, trustworthy, &
confidence-inspiring doctors AND nurses are.
[10]
I have described this all, dearest, because
someday whether it be 1945 or 1946, I
know God will let me get this belly
back to Wisconsin General/Home/A
Sincere & Trustworthy “World.”
Before I forget———I havent
had a letter in days & days. From the
existant facts & possibilities I have
a 80 + % chance of never receiving any
of your letters [& snaps—damnit!][17] sent
in the past 3 weeks. Thus hold all
letters until I give you a truly definite
address.
Ad lib:—Remember back at Harrington’s
& Lovell GH all that “queer” vomiting, salivation,
dipphagic [sic] bolus, Xraying, etc? That was
all just the “screw-ball,” bizzare, & weird
start (?) of:—“The Damnedest, Wierdest & Most
Difficult Things Happen To a Doctor & His.”
Now———————————
during combat days & truly useful War Days
I was sincere, conscientious, & stuck-
it-out-to-the last-need-of me.
I believe that pages 1 to 7 prove this
in God’s eyes, your eyes, infact anybodys
eyes! Emily, from last night at 9PM
[11]
& on, I am going to devote my entire
efforts & time to getting this belly back
to Wis. Gen’l which hand-in-hand
means back to you & back to Terry.
Just another further impetus to “pitch”
for “Us” & this belly is that deceitful,
deceptive, “Jap” trickery they hood-
winked us into signing about
“staying in the Armed Service for the
duration of the present emergency” (rep).
(I wrote this all twice—did you get it?)
Anyway, when the time presents itself
(I dont imagine it will be for several weeks
yet) I am going to turn myself in
to the “Medical Chain”. I just f know
that along the “Chain” there will be
dozens of chicken-shit Inadequates
who will try to practice knot tying
inside my belly. Please pray c̅ me
that my slurring insults right into
their faces will not be too “unpolitical”
so that they spitefully stop all progress
for me along the “Chain.” THEY SHALL
NOT SLIT MY BELLY and if God only
keeps on helping me I could go for
[12]
6 years, let alone 6 months, “beating-these-
episodes” as I have the past year.
It would be silly for me to say
to you:—“Now don’t worry, Em”! All I
can say is that I dont really worry
anymore because of my “Beat-It Routine,”
but Lordieee how I ache to bring this
damnable biznezz to an end by
good surgery. And also, God has kept
me from complete irrevocable obstruction
for a year now & I feel sure He will
continue to do so. What is so hard
to rationalize/“see” at this very moment,
is why He “tantalized” me with 3
ship’s gang planks & then shattered
each one as I practically “stepped” onto
- He has a reason—I just wish
I could “see” it, for peace-of-minds
sake. Thus, this is the 2nd time in
3 months I write you about these
“un-see-able” things that (to me sitting
in Europe) are seemingly in the same
category (tho not as great as) the “un-see-
ableness” of why He took Clarice—
the “blow” it makes to each of Us as
[13]
to Our Clarice, our Usness, our Terry,
& my abdomen-et al. As “Foreward”
says, dear, the way of Faith {in God in Life’s breaks in Life’s bad breaks[18]
is not easy; we must choose it; for
it will not choose us.
These happenings are all so recent
I dont know what to say about the
future. The only “rumor” at the present
moment is I (we) will be sent back
up into France (& or) Germany to
M D R P s (remember?, dear, Med Dept Replacement Pools)
for the 3rd & 7th Armies. It is such as
this (a settled) spot from which I will
start my campa[ig]n through the “Medical
Chain” to get this belly home.
Well, dearest, you now (as of this letter)
share c̅ me all my thoughts & hopes—
the only one you didn’t “share” (who’d wanna!)
was the “abdominal-part.” Dearest,
if you feel cheated by my with-holding
this from you—all I can ask you
for is forgiveness. You can see though,
can’t you dear, that for 8+ months it
was a “shelved-issue” that would
do no good for two people to fret about.
[14]
For the next 2+ months things were / so
hopefully [& progressively][19] shaping up
for verbal non-written explaination
that I just post-poned the discussion.
Sooooo, now you can help me
ask God in prayer to get this belly home.
Oh! dearest, how I’ve pleaded & begged [to God][20]
not to have Army surgery. My plea
for this is equaled only by my plea
to be able to say
All my love is yours,
Dave
10th Sept 45
72 Hours Later:— You’d think, wouldnt ya dear, that 72 hours
was enough time to get a little bit numb?—but, “Hell,”
things are still plenty acute. Its not begrud[g]ing those thousands
& thousands who did get the “51:49 break” & got out of here c̅
only 12, 17, 22, 30 etc points. Guess [infact I know!][21] it is my
aching thoughts as regards what it means to you & Terry.
You see, dearest, my 56 (V-J) points, or even any 48 (V-E) points,
would have prevented me from being sent out of the States ever
again if I could only once have gotten there. Secondly, even if
they’d try to pull a fast one on that point-respect, I held the
trump-card by absoloutely claiming limited-service via
this belly of mine. AND, lastly, I’d also have [HAD][22] a pretty darn
good chance of even working/finigeling a medical
discharge from the army in a short time—IF I could
have only gotten onto any one of those 3 (assigned!) ships. THUS,
it would have meant (#1) you would have had your soooo
much deserved help c̅ Terry & Life in general (#2) Terry would
have had his Pop which can mean a lot, & (#3) I’d have been
c̅in only hours (even AWOL-hours) of Dr Schmidt-et al, & would
accordingly have absoloute peace of mind {scientific & psychic}[23] re: this
belly [& #4 I’d be out out this damnable, disgusting, filthy, unhygenic,
“racketing”, demoralizing {France & Europe[24]][25]. Oh, Em————!!
Ad lib:—Just one of many truthful & reliable informants says:—
“This Marseille(-Delta-base) is the most politico-“Dy[n]asty” corrupt of any”!
[15]
Rep:—We are still waiting for our (earliest possible) reservation of
tomorrow night to get a train from Marseille to Paris to Rheims.
We (6 of us in particular) go to 813th Hosp. Center (Oise Intermediate
Section) AND I JUST LEARNED (WHOOPIE!) A.P.O.[26] 513 c/o PM-NYC, NY
which is actually one corner of that huge (rep) 25 square mile
Rheims A.A.C.. Dear, try a letter or two c̅ just summarized
points to the above address. ‘Course I wont be there for 4 or 5
days yet AND I may merely walk in-the-front-&-out-the-
back-doors as it is supposedly just an MDRP for the 3rd &
7th Armies, but anyhoooo its worth a try—especially
since I have so little chance of ever receiving any of your
letters written over the past 3 weeks prior to your receiving
the first of these 3 carbon-copy-letters. Oh, oh how I ache to
hear about you & Terry at a time like this! [Ya see, darlin’, the
137th Evac will just be-no-more, as they will deactivate
it upon arriving in the States—thus there will be
no mail sgt. to forward things & nobody else will (probably)
do make any effort to figure out this transferring bizznez.
Even if—a huge “IF”—I should get the break of being
“pooled” out to an (even fairly hot) C[ate]gory II Unit up there, it would be
at least 60-90 days before any of them are even permitted to start
a move towards Le Havre (per regulation coming out this AM re: all
Catagory II Units][27]. AND, I stand just as bad a chance of being “pooled”
back into Germany, etc, etc, ad-nauseum (for months & years).
Pleeeeeez dont misconstrue or unthinkingly jump at what I
am about to write (JUST ONLY WRITE IN OUR LETTERS THE THOUGHTS ABOUT):—
Dr. Roantree, as Nevadas Chief of Procurement & Allocation, might have a medium-
fair chance of getting me home. Keynote = obligated for life! (to stay
there): At 4,000 miles + written words, this is all very treacherous discussion
& business. TO DECIDE OUR ENTIRE FUTURE LIFE THUSLY IS HAZZARDOUS.
Allmylove, Dave
[1] In original, “OUR” is written above “the.”
[2] Medical abbreviation meaning “with.”
[3] In original, “common place” is written above “2nd nature.”
[4] Bracketed text is part of original.
[5] Bracketed text is part of original.
[6] Bracketed text written in margins of carbon copy of original (310.232.1-15.2017).
[7] China Burma India. CBI was the US military designation for this area during the war.
[8] Bracketed text is part of original.
[9] Bracketed text is part of original.
[10] In original, “common place” is written above “2nd nature.”
[11] Bracketed text is part of original.
[12] Bracketed text inserted into original with a caret.
[13] In original, “Power Grabbing” is written above “Dynasty Creating.”
[14] Bracketed text inserted into original with a caret.
[15] Their infant son.
[16] Bracketed text written above “leave” in original.
[17] Bracketed text is part of original.
[18] In original, “in God” is written above “in Life’s breaks,” which is written above “in Life’s bad breaks.”
[19] Bracketed text is part of original.
[20] Bracketed text inserted into original with a caret.
[21] Bracketed text is part of original.
[22] Bracketed text inserted into original with a caret.
[23] In original, “scientific” is written above “&,” which is written above “psychic.”
[24] In original, “France” is written above “&,” which is written above “Europe.”
[25] Bracketed text is part of original.
[26] Army Post Office.
[27] Bracketed text is part of original.