April 10, 1945
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310.140.1-5.2016 Transcription
Somewherelse–Germany
c̅[1] 7th Army 12 Apr 45 10 AM
Dearest,
I’m still “really-pissed-off”—by this I dont
mean to be vulgar, but it is so accurate an expression
to an Army man that there seems to be just no other
“expressive” way of saying it. [Maybe you never got my other
letter using the same expression].[2] Anyhooo, you would probably
combine a lot of other expressions to arrive at this
particular “status” viz. a “mood” (as you use to describe in Elko-days)
+ lousey psyche + “blue” + psychodynamisms off kilter +
“in-the-dumps” + etc + etc. I still probably wouldnt
be writing [guess its 3 days I havent written, now][3] if it wasn’t
that I realized you might start to worry by a
prolo[ng]ed “gaposis.” None of this “P---ed-offness” is due
to “gaposis” in your letters event though the Lord
knows I havent heard from you in seeming ages—
infact, my “status” is due to [I guess][4] about 4 factors
averaging 25% each:—25% due to “Family { “bickering” smallness”[5] [we
have all lived so close, so tight, so strained, so “mad-housish” for just
long enough th in this “small-town” (figuratively & literally) that we all
get on eachothers nerves];[6] 25% due to a more stark realization
(always [was][7] well realized) re: the enclosed CBI[8] clipping [note it is
a Germany edition of “S.O.S.”];[9] 25% due to disheartenment re: The Whole
of that Aunt K business (I spent all of my free time over 2 days to
write that 7 page letter)—disheartened that these “Messes”
seemingly-must occur & no decent (written-word O N L Y)[10] way of
straightening them out. [P.S. One thing I didnt include in
those 7 pages is: How, when, where had I ever even been
told the actual/point-blank facts about her financial
status—so help me!—I HAD NOT BEEN TOLD—
& even so, & even if so, it wouldnt have altered the
truthful facts in that 7 page letter.];[11] & lastly 25% due to
[2]
what might be summarized as “Confin[e]d-ness”—
here we are c̅in a space of 250 square yards & if we
leave it we are not only going against directives but
we are truly in [a] “hated-environment.” They glare
at us; we glare at them; & our 250 sq. yards is the
only place you feel comfortable-wanted-free—&
250 sq. yards gets to be boring & “de-psychifying.”
Before I forget—I mailed Terry’s nice, boyish,
[blue][12] silky, “equitable” wool sweater the other day.
Also of the having-been-done catagory—I “mailed”
a $35 P.T.A.[13] today to you for 2 pair of Summer shoes—
I know you like ‘em lots so go buy 2 pair of the
good-$12.50-type A M E R I C A N [God bless her!][14] shoes you
can find. It’ll make me feel better to know that
at least you can have some individuality & choice &
wish-fullfillment outa this present day World.
I sound like a psychopath, dont I?—3 days running might
classify me as a psychopath, huh?? 3 days solid of being “P---ed off.”
The enclosed clipping speaks for itself. The
wooden “Südbayern” is like a convention tag you wear
to tell where you’re from at a big gathering [Guess that
certain architecture is “diagnostic” of Southern (Süd) Bavaria (Bayern)].[15]
The German bill is worth two whole bucks—to
Hell c̅ the trouble of converting it in an underhanded
manner into Military Govt Marks as is much done.
The bent coin c̅ [alcoholized-thoroughly][16] blood on it is one
of 9 coins the Nazi doctors left driven into the inside
of a 5 year-French-prisoner’s thigh resulting in
horrible osteo-like stinking, draining, infection, &
non-union of the fracture—most of all however
is the fact that it “signifies” the anesthesia-emergency
of the guy being dead on the table preoperatively during
anesthesia-induction as the result of an understandable
mismanagement by one of our anesthesia nurses working
in conjunction c̅ one of our anesthesia enlisted men (anyhoooo,
[3]
its just such happenings {actual or imminent}[17] that keep an MD anesthetist-
in-charge in a continuous state of grey-hair-production.)
The last 2 pages of a Bull Bulletin may or may not
strike you as really “fine” {poetry & presentation[18]—guess it all
depends on the mood one is in as it is read.
[After Supper—served 4:30PM][19]
No mail from you—for another time. No
fault of yours but it still leaves my “3-day-status”
not appreciably changed.
As [rep’d][20] before, if I dont hear from you I dont
feel Ive gotten mail at all. Thus, Henrietta Dickinsons
note today doesnt “phase” me much. She’s in the
59th Evac as a M.D.D. (guess it means Medical Dept Dietitian).
She passed me 2 days ago; I passed her 9 days ago; & not
until 36 hrs ago via a letter from Mrs Kelley did she
know I was in the 116th. Hell! In Jan-Feb we were
“spiting-distance,” & for 18 days I taught the nurse
anesthetist of the 59th (on D.S to us c̅ 2 MDs & 3 E.M.s) how
to do intratracheal anesthesias. Small world c̅
lotsa mixed-up-Messes, huh?!?
Here’s hopin’ you feel better than I do—
Ill try not to let 3 days elapse again in writing
you—just because of a “Status.” I ‘spect
mail the past weeks has arrived pretty poorly at
710-4th St & the way the war is running it probably
wont improve until this mad chase after the Nazi’s
slows down. You see we’re never “settled” long
enough to have either {incoming or outgoing}[21] mail channels get
decent. Anyhoooo, have Terry[22] kiss ya for me & “ahhh”
out———Ahhhhll myahhh lahhhve,
Dave
[4]
[16 Apr 45—before bed @ 8:30 AM][23]
Lordieeeeee! dear—compare dates & you can
get a rough idea of how we are chasing the Krauts[24]
& how 100%-unsettled we are. Why! Ive carried
this for an unbelievable (warfare) number of miles
s̅[25] the chance to mail it, inside Krautland.[26]
[Just quickly][27] I sorta felt-for-you on Fri 13th, 1945
when I learned of Roosevelt[28] dying. At that moment
we were certainly far from anyone on a high crest
of half-mountainous Nature—sortof Awesome
Nature. Its hard to describe my feelings but the
hugeness of World-Death-Geography-Life all “swooped”
at once in an awesome/horrible/yet beautiful
manner in one massive gulp, at me. He was a
fine Churchman—he lived his Churchmanship
(Christianity) far more fully than most politi[c]ians are
permitted/able/capable of living it. Not until 2 days
later did I learn he died at Warm Springs[29], & I then
had an odd “thankful-glow” that he could be where
he would probably have chosen to die—this too,
is hard to express.
We had an awfully hard night (& I write this
on clumbsy boxes near the MailBox) so Id better stop
c̅ all my Life/all my Prayers/& all my desires to
you two who are—
All my love,
Dave
[1] Medical abbreviation meaning “with.”
[2] Bracketed text is part of original.
[3] Bracketed text is part of original.
[4] Bracketed text is part of original.
[5] In original, “’bickering’” is written above “smallness.’”
[6] Bracketed text is part of original.
[7] Bracketed text inserted into original with a caret.
[8] China Burma India. CBI was the US military designation for this area during the war.
[9] Bracketed text is part of original.
[10] In original, “O N L Y” is written below “written-word.”
[11] Bracketed text is part of original.
[12] Bracketed text inserted into original with a caret.
[13] Personal Transfer Account for sending money back home.
[14] Bracketed text is part of original.
[15] Bracketed text is part of original.
[16] Bracketed text is part of original.
[17] In original, “actual” is written above “or,” which is written above “imminent.”
[18] In original, “poetry” is written above “&,” which is written above “presentation.”
[19] Bracketed text is part of original.
[20] Bracketed text is part of original.
[21] In original, “incoming” is written above “or,” which is written above “outgoing.”
[22] Their infant son.
[23] Bracketed text is part of original.
[24] Germans.
[25] Medical abbreviation meaning “without.”
[26] Germany.
[27] Bracketed text is part of original.
[28] Franklin Delano Roosevelt (FDR), 32nd President of the USA. Died April 12, 1945.
[29] A town and institute in Georgia with naturally therapeutic waters. FDR went here to help treat his polio.